Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize
