It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
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