Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
