worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
