you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
