And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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