My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
