I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
