the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
