Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Randomize
