he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
