can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
