then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
