like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
