Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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