sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
