No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
