I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
He better not be in your backpack
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
