What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
