HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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