Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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