Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
