Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
My life is pants optional.
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