i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
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