you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Randomize