Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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