well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize