Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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