He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
