I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
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