ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
