I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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