I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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