if you like me you must not know who I am
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
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