he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
so let's talk penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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