I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
