Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
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