i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
