Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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