Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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