its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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