you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
im on a boat
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