he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
