Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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