Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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