and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
