Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
