Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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