is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
