did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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