Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
