Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
