Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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