I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
