she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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