Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize