you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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