Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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