Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
