it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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