I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Randomize
