I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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