I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Randomize
