just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Randomize