The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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