and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I love how my cats smell like pot.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
